I am at a striph cluv. They are ovealls everywhere. I have hot rock botto.
He is like the real live version of the state fair..
It was the gentlest way I could hit on a girl who just got hit by a car
You dont understand he had a split tongue thats bucket list worthy.
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Our kitchen sink faucet is leaking, so I set a pitcher under it to catch water for Kool-Aid tomorrow rather than turn on the faucet. The environment owes me.
So I think his penis grew over the weekend. Is that possible or does absence make the dick grow longer?
six ambien and a bong later...he was calling me blueberry princess who need rescuing from the evil oven, and he was sir Eatsalot.
Tomorrow is Have Sex and Climb A Mountain Day. We have amazing dates.
It's really not cool dreaming about going into labor with your ex boyfriends love child as you're sleeping next to him.
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Downloaded the Pocket Penguin app. There are now penguins living in my phone. Technology is wonderful.
Just had hot animal sex with the guy who had been sending me 10 second selfie snapchats for the past month
No just a slight sexual miscommunication which led to a little (lot) vomiting by one party and a bruised sternum on the other party involved.
I can't even make a guess how that goes.
Also I think I realized when my life started to turn into shambles.. The day I took my high school senior picture WITH A HICKEY ON MY NECK
She's hot and all. It's just I don't want to become Eskimo brothers with my sister
I just bought a mini nerf gun so he could make a bowl out of it, I deserve the fuck buddy of the year award!
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