Last night I ate the rest of the salsa with my hands. And i DONT have a hangover? Glorious.
you're in nursing school, now tell me what to do about a burned clit.
his penis is PERFECT
I want to put it in a shoebox and place cottonbls around it to protect it from any harm
or knit it little hat
Where are you, who is in my bed, why is he wearing a spandex onesie as underwear, how did i get teethmarks on my forehead, what are we doing tonight?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I puked in the urinal of a bar tonight. Not embarrassed cause I got away with it, legitimately upset you weren't there to make fun of me.
I tackled a mailbox like a linebacker. He almost broke his hip and his friend lit a bottle rocket off inside of the car. Yes it was a successful night.
im like basted in vodka, i went tanning and it was like i was an alcoholic turkey being cooked in a locker of doom
But if you were going to pour a liquid on your naked body in fall its definitely pumpkin inspired something.
I woke up naked on my futon with a blanket half way covering my ass and 20 half eaten chicken wings on my chest... At 7 pm... That kind of day drinking
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
We fucked through the entire Destiny's Child album, it was a beautiful thing.
i spilled a box of white cheddar cheezits on the bathroom floor about 2 days ago. when i went back to the house he yelled at me from the bathroom: "THANKS FOR THE CHEEZITS, I'll ALWAYS HAVE A SNACK FOR WHEN IM SHITTING NOW!"
Please call us Steph is okay but missing phone wallet tooth
Not even official and he's cleaned my puke twice. His hotdog skills are an added bonus. I've got a keeper
Stop jerking off to vines my recommended list on YouTube is getting weird.
he was wearing pj pants, thank you for not letting me go home with him
Randomize