oh fat girl friday strikes again...
Get the fuck buddy a birthday present or not? He def deserves one, but how do I explain the debit card charge to my husband?
You asked my mom "who the fuck drives four hours to sleep in a guys bed and not touch his penis"
I am the master of subtle flirting. I seduced him by simulating a hand job with an epi-pen during training.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
She tried catching cigarette ashes on her tongue like snowflakes.
They'd unbutton the overalls with their lesbian-tongues. It wouldn't even be a problem.
Whoever I saved in my phone as "Jackpot" last night has your keys.
Is buying her a loofah for my house commitment like? I don't wanna give the wrong idea
I'm gonna drop in for a zip later man. It made me wanna eat my girls shampoo. Good shit
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
he ate me out like 4 times and told me that my vagina "was too much fun".
She bent over while grinding on me on the dance floor and her thong straps were hanging out, I thought it was a good idea to grab the straps with both hands and pretend to be riding in Santa's sleigh...not my brightest moment.
You declared that afternoon sex will be referred to as "wet naps" from now on
I JUST REALIZED THAT SINCE LEIA IS TECHNICALLY A PRINCESS AND KYLO REN IS HER SON AND STAR WARS IS OWNED BY DISNEY...KYLO REN IS LITERALLY A DISNEY PRINCE.
Oh my Gods. Why. Why did you have to tell me that. D:
SO YOU CAN SUFFER HAVING THAT KNOWLEDGE TOO.
I just watched my mom pour beer into her vodka and drink it.
Legit hope my Trump humping Brother dies of this shit so I can stop pretending to still love him.
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