Lonely and bored. Am I allowed to play Dance Dance Revolution by myself?
I just got sparklers from my secret santa. Drunken sledding just got to a whole new level of dangerous
Do you think I can haggle my way to discounted weed on 4.21?
Just KTHXBAIed an old man for staring at me
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Im gonna need you to always be ready for drinking or this will never work. grow up peter pan.
I've reached the slutty point of no return. And it feels like multiple orgasms and coke lines
NEW RULE: NO INNAPROPRIATE CHOICES THAT INVOLVE GUNS. I LIKE IT. WRITE THAT DOWN.
Good news. Hiccups are gone. Bad news. I had to set the bathroom rug on fire to get rid of them. Don't come home until the fire truck leaves.
WHY WERE YOU COOKING NAKED?
WHY WERE YOU SLEEPING ON MY COUCH?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Blood work from physical was all good, apparently heavy alcohol use agrees with me
I mean, he drove your car and it burst into flames, if anyone cant be trusted, it's him.
You know your horny when you have a sex dream about Ace Ventura, if your wondering he's awful
He isn't understanding any of my Fetty Wap references. He may not be a keeper after all.
Who brings a stripper to breakfast at the dining hall? What was the plan? Impress her with his meal plan?
I got drunk. Then I took a shit.
It was a good shit
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