Fucking love it maybe bedazzle some baby seals? Make them cuter? Who would club a bedazzled baby seal? Only a fucking monster.
Words of Wisdom: ordering a pitcher of whiskey cokes, putting a straw in it, and calling it your drink is not socially acceptable
I hate myself for knowing the words to party in the USA.
Did you just buzz the apartment and throw shit at the window? Josh and rob came into my room and woke me up
Fuck you Ian. U owe me $3.65 cuz thasts what I thfrew at ur window trying to wake ur ass up. And fuck u for not giving a shit
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Idk. The last coherent text said something about $25 & dimes. And then...it's just letters...
Doc gave me something stronger than Xanax. The pills have your last name imprinted on them. This cannot be coincidence.
His idea of role playing was him wearing the halloween mitt romney mask while I gave him head
My philosophy professor just told the class that he is suspicious of dolphins. The stoner in front of me totally gets it. I need to start getting high for this class.
Just when I thought he had turned a new leaf, I see a "Let me get you pregnant" shirt in his closet
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I just drove my booty call to his booty call, if that isn't spreading the love, I don't know what is.
I promise that I won't shotgun beers with your boyfriend this time, Scouts Honor.
Not sure how but he broke three of his fingers while giving a blowjob. How does someone that accident prone survive to adulthood?
if you're not jumping for joy when you see penis then you're looking at the wrong ones.
It was great. We stayed up all night talking about objects he'd put in his theoretical vagina.
so do you remember taking your shirt off and just standing in your bra at the bar or no?
Randomize