Omg. Just talked to a semi driver from nebraska. Got her truck stuck. Gave her and her riding buddy a glass of vodka and a cig. YES.
I either date the nice guys or the assholes. There isn't any in between.
You need to find a taint.
puked in the new hous. now it's officially home.
The walk of shame is far, far worse on crutches.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
his facial hair looked like he just ate out someone's ass
Apparently shes in the bathroom puking but eating a pot roast she found in the fridge at the same time.
Just once id like to sleep with a man who i havent thrown up on
I ended up in a shower with 9 people and a bunch of unopened beer last night. I think I got peed on. Hands were everywhere. We sold the peed on beer to people knocking on the hotel room door.
Wow, now I'm sad I didn't go.
I make your heart skip a beat like that pivotal moment when you open a public toilet lid
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
What can i say, i'm an artist. I think deep thoughts. In between the homoerotica and pterodactyl noises
He talked to you for like two seconds while you were shit faced doing Forest Gump impressions...how is that possible?
Is it malicious or apart of the healing process if I wipe my ass with his toothbrush?
And then you told me I had large hands and looked like a girl who would have an illegitimate child that I never talked about
my roommate had a few special brownies and wrapped my purse and one of my shoes and left them under the tree for me...
We'll never be able to grow apart now. You can't look at a stranger & say "Yea I ate goldfish crackers off his dick." & just be casual about that.
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