once my pubes got caught on her snaggletooth it was all downhill from there
My nipple rings set off the metal detector at the courthouse this morning.
you also choked him out with your legs on the kitchen floor..
Make sure your heart doesn't explode. These are words of wisdom.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
YOU ARE NOT A BOTTLE OF RUM THEREFORE I DONT KNOW HOW TO LOVE YOU
I'm pretty sure they kept making references about gangbanging me but I was too stoned to catch on, I just sat there and stared at his kitten.
Eating cold pizza and drinking a beer for breakfast while standing in a hotel window naked is how I say hello September...
Who was the girl that woke me up at 4am to tell me "there's an emergency, we need you to come smoke weed"
So he's compensating for a really small penis. Either that or he's a drug lord.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
My day in three words: secret purse cake
I think he's an actor
That's not a good enough reason to wear guy-liner
who knew my inner goddess was such a whore
Well I didn't spend $7 on an Uber just to get limp dick
Spent 38 bucks on dollar wells last night. I'm pretty sure my liver is staging a mutiny right now.
She had a toddler. It threw up and then some guy said party foul and put it on the porch. Going back next Friday.
Randomize