Nice 2 c u showing ur bro some affection
It's American, baby! There ain't nothin gross about America.
Woke up this morning 8 levels higher in Call of Duty then when I started drinking... told you I was better when I was drunk.
Its a three day weekend with Valentines day thrown in... Im obligated to get drunk
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So the coke mirror was perfectly angeled at my face right when i woke up this morning. I now know how I'd look on intervention.
riding the spinning bikes at the rec after Valentines Day was a baaddddd idea
I hope the doctor doesnt lift up and my shirt and listen to my lungs. I dont want to explain why I have rug burns on my back.
She gave me head because I gave her my pack of cigarettes...And you said quitting would be hard.
I guess our biggest consolation is that we haven't woken up in a hottub with a dead dude. Yet.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Did you leave your blow razor here? I need it for crafts.
So I'm thinking next semester you should be my own personal maid, nurse, masseuse and chef in exchange for free lodging, any food you can find, and unlimited access to my reproductive organs.
bad news.. campus security walked me home last night and when i tried to tell them where i lived they assured me they knew where our house was.
Listen, you eat the donut. I eat you out. Everybody wins.
Finally got with the virgin.
Yeah? Howd that go?
As soon as I got it all the way in, I looked deep into her eyes and said "your soul is mine" in the deepest voice I could make. She was not amused.
Now all my porn is stored in my parents’ basement. It’s like a part of my soul is boxed up
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