your parents love me but you hate me
This is clearly one of those "A hole's a hole" situations
Old men and throwing up are my life now.
So J keeps drinking his last bit of drink, then spitting it out and drinks it again. Savor the flavor?
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sorry for covering your dog in whipped cream. his bark made it sound like he wanted it.
i almost burnt down an apartment complex. little busy, get back to you later
She's grinding on a deaf black man and I'm the interpreter.
Can't a girl send out a 4 pm booty call anymore
He lectured me about the dangers of drugs while wearing a sombrero and doing interpretive dance.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I saw pigeons eating ur dried up puke today. Last night was fucking great
I bet my lungs hate me more than my liver
That's a hard toss up
I was mad at him...then I jerked off. Now I'm over it. Orgasms fix everything, I swear.
You're now part of the minority of friends who haven't seen my boobs.
We went there specifically for you to break it off with him and I walk in on you two in the bathroom with his dick in your mouth
but he had pizza... so i win
I give up.
When we sit on the couch watching TV, she always cups her hand around my balls. Not sure if it's a sign of affection or a "power play" to remind me just how vulnerable I am if she chooses to make an aggressive squeeze.
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