if being creepy is wrong, then i don't want to be right
Do u think I can claim pregnancy as an accident so my insurance covers it?
Shaq going to Cleveland; Vince Carter to the Magic; Michael Jackson, Farrah Fawcett, and Ed McMahon die.... ARMAGEDDON IS UPON US!!!!!
it was like he was trying to blow his nose in my vagina
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Yeah you insisted everyone watch Space Jam at 2 in the morning then you cried the whole way through it. You were the very worst kind of drunk.
Time for jim to play the "dont seriously consider pooping in the trash" game
You don't put off sexcapades. Life lesson #1.
Downside to Halloween: you can't tell if the guy dressed as Gene Simmons from KISS that keeps flirting with you is hot or not...I decided to err on the side of caution and assume not...
Do you still speak french? one of two girls I woke up with only speaks french...
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You fucked that MILF against my car!
How would you know?
She scratched her name into my window with her bigass wedding ring. btw she wants you to call her
pssssst. you dropped everyone else off and forgot about me. im in the backseat of your car still. can you please come back outside and either let me out or take me home?
It's like the bat signal. He only texts me when I'm naked.
Should we go get some celebratory "I'm not pregnant" tacos?
I lost Mario kart three times but I got laid so it wasn't the WORST night I've ever had.
it was cool until he whispered 'sounds like you need a good dicking' with a completely serious face and i just lost it
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