OMG I just tried to text you something dirty but accidentally texted the obama campaign
Nothing says "I love you" like a full raw dog.
this homeless guy just told me to make a wish on his magic plastic spoon but said to be careful what i wish for...
Just invented new drinking game watching Hocus Pocus... everytime they say "virgin" wetake a shot and yell out "to j****"
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
New drinking game. Every time Romney and Santorum switch leads, take a shot.
....this is what your political science major is getting you?
They wouldn't serve more then two Shots per person, so you grabbed a group of strangers and said u werre buying them all shots, then proceeded to drink all of them.
You'll have to pretend I'm texting you with buddychecks.
Like the Jimeny Cricket of cockblocks.
I'm just crazy horny about you
You finished the fifth and then hid two dozen eggs around your apartment and declare that you would "quest for Jesus". Have fun questing today.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I think its awesome that i just got you to cheer for sex
Well sex is awesome. Sex deserves cheers.
I have this vague feeling that I was involved in a dance off with a homeless man?
You need to stop vomiting in the washing machine, bro. For real this time.
I have an interview tomorrow! The couple we regularly swing with said I could use them as references. Winning
Accidentally made a straight guy question his sexuality again. I really gotta watch myself.
You can come over but I have to warn you that it is naked Sunday.
Randomize