What do you want? Don't say anything that would make me look like a pussy at the store.
Oh please, I could turn a Vienna Boys Choir concert into a shit show
I woke up to him climbing naked through my bedroom window with a bottle of jd in his hand. Of course I had sex with him.
Let's just say, at one point i got woken up at 4am by a naked guy who was offering me steak, in a cup.
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I keep calling his kid the wring name. This is not helping my cause. And by cause mean his dick
I put an asterick after the names of people in my phone that I've fucked. Both as a form of bragging, and also so I can actually remember all their names.
Ive only seen a dude masterbate on a train twice, once on the Jtrain and once on the Ftrain... trust me you never wanna see where the subway turns around.
He wrote on the paper that he wanted a "Ptitty burreto" from taco bell...when we ordered it the girl paused and entered "Potatoe burrieto"....we laughed
First memory of my senior year: Going into registration still drunk from last night.
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You told me I couldn't make out with you until I added you on LinkedIn
I didn't want to see any of his nipples and now I've seen all three. Thanks.
Dislocated my knee during sex, popped it back in and kept going. Then got simpathy chipotle out of it too.
You would critique a dick pic. Damn art people.
I thought I came here to hook up, not for a Study Abroad 101 session
The sex was totally worth how awkward its gonna be for the next few weeks
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