need another drink. this is the easiest way
I just farted at work and tried to cover up the noise by shuffling papers around
lol earlier she was acting like a normal gf... and then BANG! shes touching herself again...
whoever says they hate hangovers just doesnt know how to embrace them. i'm eating a mashed potato sandwich and watching grind.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
dude my 8 year old cousin is allowed to drink wine coolers. as long as its infront of my aunt. wtf
Im making gravy in a lace bra and jeans. Just call me the southwern wet dream
They make twin pack pregnancy tests for girls like us
Dude, jerking off when you're all hopped up on pre workout energy supplements has got to be the greatest thing I've ever done.
Just had a flashback to Friday. Definitely had my hands in someone's bra. Definitely wasn't mine.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Oh, also as a concerning side note, my bra had drops of blood on it. So I don't know what the deal was, but someone I was around was definitely bleeding a decent amount.
I really couldn't care less what she looks like. That's why The Lord Our God gave us doggy-style.
There is someone out there for you right now. And we will find her. Or him. Her. Her, we'll start with tits.
Look, you don't know disfunction until you've sat on the john taking a shit and crying while totally sober.
Please remind me tomorrow that I ate a loaf of jimmy johns bread on the toilet 5 mins ago
That’s the third time this month he’s hooked up with a girl by telling her it’s his bachelor party, and he’s not even dating a chick let alone engaged.
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