Pretty sure my dad just walked in on me jerking off watching guys on webcam. Remember how I used to say "most awkward day of my life?" I'm retiring that phrase.
Wow. 8.8 earthquake hit Chile this morning
didn't feel it. :)
It's like 5 thousand miles away of course you didn't.
wait what? so it's not in america?
Did you really end last night's sexting with "Stay thirsty my friend"?
Did I at antime last saturday slip away and sign up for a prayer circle?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
it was either a really good one night stand or a really really good first date. thank you online dating
If you're fucking that other dude, I'll take the sloppy seconds. I don't care.
It's a goat... but where the fuck did it come from?
SO EXCITED ABOUT STRING CHEESE RIGHT NOW
I'm all dressed in my outfit from last night, and I'm not even the sluttiest person in Walmart right now. God bless Miami.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Binging muscle relaxers because when ur 33 you can no longer SHAKE IT LIKE A POLAROID PICTURE for 2hrs w/o consequences. Fuck you, Age.
I can never have sex in Utah again. The altitude had me breathing like a fat kid going up stairs.
I decided to do drugs in front of her because if anyone can handle the truth it's a ghost
Please don't finger me like a jackhammer. I'm a woman not a construction site.
There are peanut butter donuts now. We are playing with forces we can't possibly understand.
You poured all their beer into ziploc baggies so it would be "better on the go"
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