I'm gonna have bed sores at the end of this hangover.
I'd suck anything for a pizza right now
you were stumbling down richmond carrying a girl in a nurse costume. its not even halloween dude
He just tried to eat my hair and he keeps talking about pissing on everything, come home soon I beg of you
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
crossed #23 off the Slucket List!
YOU JUST MADE YOUR SLUCKET LIST THIS MORNING.
He peed in the bird bath. Those birds are gonna be pissed
At the drs she looked at my back saw your scratch marks and asked "does your back itch a lot?"
It was the hardest I ever came in my life and once I could see straight again I just looked at him and said "cool"
Bonded with the ladies at the perfume outlet by saying "help me smell like i'm not hungover before my shift starts". This is not where I wanted my life to be
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
The night was crazy enough that we did a workout. Instructed by the bouncer at 2am
I have an ideal penis or slightly above ideal penis in every country that isn't ruined by the specter of communism
This is why we can never be just regular friends. The shit we do is not regular
fuck school, let's just become the worst strippers ever
Apparently we fucked, I kicked him out, then he came back and we did it on the coffee table and in the kitchen.
Just saw a commercial for non alcoholic baileys cream. WHAT THE HELL IS THE POINT?!
Randomize