he's from indiana, of course he's clueless about "g-spots"
Dammit. I drunkenly drank all my milk at 6 AM in a misguided stupor to prevent my roommates from stealing my milk.
she ate the whole pudding cup using only her tongue. i'm considering going lesbian for her
when i'm drunk i think im just gonna point at him and yell adultery is a sinnnn. youre going to helllll
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
if that's jizz on my steering wheel i'm gonna be pissed...and impressed.
Tomorrow is Have Sex and Climb A Mountain Day. We have amazing dates.
Please tell me that chemistry equipment is for chemistry and not for producing felonies.
This isn't just a hangover. I can feel the blood moving through my veins, and it hurts.
I fell asleep giving a handjob, had a sex dream about giving a handjob, and woke up giving a handjob. Life.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Now that it's over, I can finally say it and not feel bad,dude. Her mustache is better than yours.
Sorry for trying to baptize you last night
You knew the entire thing in Latin I was so impressed
Interesting. All i can really say is humanoid shaped doritos bags melting very slowly
A cop may or may not have seen my bare ass against the moonlight within the past hour
I tried saying sorry but instead I puked down her shirt and tried to clean it up... Now I have a bruise on my forehead. good news, before she left she wrote her number on my stomach with sharpie
Soon to be ex is nowhere to be found. Her attorney/new BF just showed up. 30 minutes late looking hungover. Pretty sure I'm getting the kids AND the house!
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