I had a disgustingly explicit dream last night involving myself and lil wayne.
Far right against the wall..hiding come find me. dont tell oyhers hahaha
he said he didn't have a condom.
and you said?
that that's fine cause i was ready to be a mom. yeah - he magically had a condom he forgot about after that.
just peed in the tub, threw it on Megan.. she threw more back, I got out and threw toilet water on her.. forecast for tomorrow? pink eye.
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Hashbrowns don't come out your nose as easily as you would think
I was going to call you an awful person for that. but then i realized we're both awful people.
Really* awful people.
We just made a drinking game out of our chemistry review. This might explain my chemistry grade.
composition of my stomach right now: 60% C8H10N4O2 * H2O (coffee), 20% CaCO3 (pepto bismol/tums), 10% HCl (stomach acid), 5% fried rice, 5% residual adderall. i can do that by percent mass too. fuck you finals.
I answered the door to some Jehovah Witnesses hungover and wearing nothing but a white tshirt. I think they made it the church goal to reform me, we've gotten four pamphlets. My mom's going to make me convert if they keep coming.
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If you get me so fucked up I can't use the microwave , I'm going to be so mad at you
90 seconds of pumping and 2 months of bragging all summer. So much for my reputation here.
Hoping to get a pic of me on the tractor with an erection for you one of these days.
I'm sorry I told you to go fuck yourself after you said good morning to me when I was hungover.
If you hear death cries, thats me singing. Just let me be.
Just to clarify, i'm coming over for tacos not a threesome
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