This random guy asked me if I had downs. I was like up yours! And I got out of his car.
So I went outside my house this morning and basically my entire front lawn is covered in gummi bears... I think that involves you guys.
I developed a drinking game for WoW. Everytime I die, I take a shot.
Please get laid.
Just found a "how to get laid" book on the dresser and am now a victim of method number 16 corollary 7.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I'm very fluent in vodka, but that seems to be a whiskey dialect.
And I just had to awkwardly tell 3 police officers that I was having sex and not in any trouble
They got me high and left me at the mall with a giftcard for $400. I need an adult.
They had to stop us from skinny dipping in the reflection pool of the Mormon temple.
Let's buy some Wrangler jeans and be real live men.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I woke up with my vibrator in my bed so I'm assuming I had a decent night.
Yeah we fucked. I ran into her the next day, I had to pick up the girl scout cookies I ordered from her boyfriends kids.
Also, I found this app that is basically a tamagochi from the 90's and now I finally have something to keep me busy at work!
At this point, I wouldn't be surprised if he laughs at all of our attempts to keep him sober.
I've faked every orgasm I've ever had, I think I can fake being sick for 8 hours.
I just don't know how to say "I want to have sex you with before you graduate" in a classy way
Randomize