And i generally try not to roofie people when I'm in a committed relationship.
You were doing downward dog and puking off my deck at the same time.
Correct me if I'm wrong, but I did not stop moving last night. If tequila gives me that extra push to have an active lifestyle, so be it.
Why is the garage door in the middle of the street?
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I showed remarkable dignity in such a compromising situation. Except I came off as sort of a blue ball giver.
I demanded respect from my fuck buddy. Drunk me is not fun.
Attention ladies coming to the party tonight! Tonight will be another chance to win the 5 bucks for getting my cousin hard. Bring your a-game, no one has been able to overcome the whiskey dick yet. Good luck.
My sister hid me from my parents, brought me a bloody mary, and told my girlfriend I was out with my dad. For 13, I got to say she's working out pretty good.
Sharing a bathroom with a guy sucks. I always have to set an alarm for the middle of the night just so I can take a dump. Poop text btw
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm drinking and working out! I'm bench pressing the beer pong table and doing push ups and lifting the chair.
He invites me over too FucK and i wind up eating 6 jimboys tacos with his roommates. While he waited in his room. Maybe next time
Why is there no Netflix category for "I just wanna cry, but I don't have time for a whole romcom"?
It will be interesting
Isn't that your life's motto?
Woke up in a cemetery. Puked in front a funeral ceremony that was going on.
Can I just fuck someone without it basically becoming an arranged marriage
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