goodnight i made you a song goodbye
He threw up over the balcony and blamed it on an invisible garden gnome.
and that's how I found out my dad doesn't believe in towels... holiday magic.
based on the size of her vibrator, i'm going to be a huge disappointment
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
We really need to stop competing to see who can get more drunk, and I REALLY need to stop winning.
...and the foreplay consisted of me threatening to cut off his hand if he didn't remove it from my back.
I think my sister is getting tired of me breaking into her house so I can sleep with random girls when shes not there
Why were you eating a hot dog in the bathroom at 230 am?
My roommate was sleeping, I thought it would be rude
Apparently this is my life now. Fucking men in their 30s with small dogs.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
drinking vodka, listening 2 smh at 530am slow cooking beef stew. you'll enjoy the stew and worry abt me in the morning. bon apatite
Congratulations on your downgrade, shes one hell of a 5
Easy Mac and you are the sexiest things in my life
So unmotivated today.
Who am I kidding. So unmotivated this decade.
i stood outside in the bushes for thirty minutes. Do you know how many drunk guys pee in bushes at 2 am?
DESTROY DICK DECEMBER\nTHE SUN SHINES ON THE THIRSTY
Randomize