R and i have drinken 4 bottles od red wine. By ourselfs
i woke up with socks on this morning
so?
i didnt wear socks last night
I plan on using my big titties for evil tonight.
found a new level of pathetic. i watched a guy pick out cigarette butts from a jar that weren't completely finished. make sure you go somewhere in life.
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she then came into the room and yelled I'M GOING TO BE A COCK BLOCK for 5 minutes
you thought your balls were fighting each other...
I need to make a 'no kissing' rule for my casual hookups during cold season...this cold is so not worth it.
I should not be in class today. For the professors sake.
I had to convince someone last night that the fact that he couldn't get me off wasn't him it was me and to clarify I had to tell him there was only. One person that got me off every time without fail, he said "that guy is my hero" you should be proud
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I'm gonna make some noodles and go to bed. Hopefully I don't fall into the stove or something.
In last nights drunken stupor i apparently purchased a luxury travel package for two to Australia. So uh...get a passport and clear your schedule for next month
Nothing can teach you regret more efficiently than a wine hangover.
She always used to joke about becoming a stripper. WHO'S FUNNY NOW?!
I passed out with the lights and tv on woke up at 4am SO confused and covered in goldfish so I ate them and went back to bed.. fuck xanax
Did you just affectionately call me a scrotum?
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