Whats contracted in vegas does not stay in vegas....
but, i was nude. you really should respect my stupidity and delete them. please.
i need a new camera phone. my pictures from last night are as blurry as my memories. and neither tell me why i woke up in an airplane hangar.
It just sucks seeing everyone get flowers but me...
yeah, but they die. it takes a while, but they die. just like all of these kids relationships will. tequila doesnt die. its a live in the moment thing... like a valentines day one night stand. so long run, tequila is the better gift.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
he smelled like listerine and beef tacos
Every time I remember you're bi, the world gets a little brighter.
got delayed, meet you at the bar soon, found a shopping cart, i am now getting pushed to the bar by some guy that was peeing in the alley i found the cart in
4 days in college, 3 frat parties. I haven't been this drunk since the unspeakable Jäger bomb incident in Sweden.
well if they don't get here soon...no fuck it, I'm going to the strip club.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
new district manager is here. you need to come in early
5th mimosa says otherwise
I swear going to your house is like going to a strip club, no matter what happens I get glitter on me.
You answered, dry heaved into the phone twice, & then hung up on me.
I felt like I needed to shower with a Mr. Clean Magic Eraser.
Thanks for being my best friend so I can use you as an alibi to my family while I'm out getting some dick in my face.
She said my penis was powerful and magnificent
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