Hey man sorry I got all grabby
I served up a girl her first a2m the other day. You would have been proud.
dude, never take two tylenol pm and smoke three bowls. i feel like i'm covered in cold ants.
she made my bed before she left. i think i'm gonna keep banging her to get the housework done
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
before tonight, i was terrified of what tequila would make me do. but all it did was make me hook up with a movie star. sooo basically tequila's my new fave
This morning my doorman told me it was an accomplishment for me to be standing and conscious after last night.
I may have pooped in your shoe. or somewhere else in your closet. its unclear.
It's a self-perpetuating puke chain.
Overall win. We all know who got to sleep on the concrete outside of Denny's with you.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I drunk dialed my ex-boyfriend last night. He was sitting next to my new boyfriend. Shoot me in the face.
She was purple for Halloween. She literally spray-painted herself purple and called it a costume. It won't come off.
We don't have any ice, so I'm using the frozen cognac to reduce the swelling on Abby's toe.
Just came so hard my back cracked. Other women are totally missing out if they don't masturbate.
You can't just walk around stealing hats from drunk boys and peeing in bathtubs. Turn down.
Come to this bar
But I'm full of food.
MAKE ME FULL OF YOUR DICK
Randomize