her bf's celebrating 10 yrs of service at kfc...it's safe to say all the good men are taken
Called the cops on a high school party then went in after all the kids ran away and took the rest of the beer. What are you doing tonight?
I ended up passing out on the shitter for like an hour with mcds smoothie all over my face
I knew it would be an interesting night when he showed up at my house on a scooter wearing a six foot american flag as a cape.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Drinking Hot Toddies on the Porch and blasting bob dylans "hurricane" bring it on sandy!
I found him on the floor in the kitchen eating cheese and tomato. I mean a block of cheese and whole tomatoes, he was alternating. Thats why your cheese has teeth marks.
Had a dream I beat up niall then madeout with him while snorting coke out of a dragons egg
It all went downhill when I figured out I could launch myself into people with my crutches
I wish I could have a tequila IV with me all the time. Intravenous tequila intoxication.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
They say find what you're good at... Evidently that's showing up late for everything, drinking, and eating cheese for me.
plus like he's kinda a piece of shit. a beautiful somewhat talented piece of shit that hella needs to get his life together
I took out a life ins. policy Thursday. It's okay I can die in Nashville now.
I have a whole new respect for her. She chugged half a bottle of jack daniels, and then peed all over his wall. Serves him right.
Do you remember punching the light out in the bathroom? I didn't, and that was at bar 2 of 4…
btw...it's noon and i'm sitting here drinking wine and eating pixie stix. I really need to find something to do...
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