I lost my shoes and bra and was beyond mapquesting
she was so hung over that i had to hold her hair while she puked in a trash can in the middle of the student center as new freshman and their parents walked by.
Just because we had intercourse doesn't mean we're friends.
Just caused a nice traffic jam while trying to park at Costco. Too high to drive.
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The liquor store guy just accused me of buying alcohol of minors due to how many bottles I got. The guy should be used to this from me.
she tried to handfeed me fritos while yelling "PENIS TRAIN"
You guys bombarded us in the bathroom and that kid whipped his dick out and peed in the sink.
He drunk dialed me at 2am asking if he could put a baby in me.
Sounds good. Look at us. Planning sex like proper adults.
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she was concerned about my dick piercings.
Isis wins if we don't have the loudest, kinkiest sex in every part of my house tomorrow
She walked into the kitchen, said 'we've come to this time of the party,' reached into the bowl of cold spaghetti and shoved a handful in her mouth.
We put you in the box and you started to cry, that's how high you were.
I just had a flashback to me puking and you telling me it was okay because my boobs still looked awesome.
just walked passed a black light...apparently he DID cum.
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