Instead of a promise ring i got my clit peirced, its a promise that ill always give you ass! =]
Some chick in the back of my Psychologhy of Addictions class just did a line off her hand. She tried to make it look subtle.
Some girl next to me in class is making a list of whta to pack for spring break & it was a normal list until she put birth control in all caps w/ stars around it
his life revolves around getting high and answering people on yahoo answers. he's perfect for you.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
It's gotten to the point that the dirty talk in my head when I touch myself has your accent
He barely got in the door before she began to shriek like a banshee and punch him. His rainbow wig is still hanging from the front porch as a "warning to all other clowns".
Just blew my age on the breathalyzer. I also have 8 stitches in my head. So worth a .22 though. All time record.
Drunkasaurus has found a new cave to eat all the children she captured
I need to get you away from Bacardi 151 and out from under the bed
Really? Uh ohh sounds like a double date with extra stripper funnnn
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
We got to the hotel at 12AM with nothing but a plastic bag of magnum condoms and lube, while wearing glow sticks. The receptionist handed us a bunch of water bottles and said "These are on us.", not even phased by three dudes about to have a threesome. I love this town.
Well I was thinking of taking him out for drinks then lecturing him about his drinking... kind of like an open minded intervention
Hey I didn't mean to be all lemme get with your ex husband.
Because sadly the idea of me having a girlfriend is crazy enough to be an April fools prank
If you had asked me 10 years ago where I thought I'd be right now at 26 years old, I can bet you one million dollars that "tweezing out my nose hairs before I go in to get laser hair removal on my upper lip" would NOT have been the answer
Why does everyone always assume I'm fucking their boyfriends?
You are fucking her boyfriend.
Randomize