If it makes you feel any better I'm plucking my mustahce and drinking. Alone.
I just left the house and 2 chicks are in the kitchen making breakfast. Might want to get up.
I'm up, no shirt, and staring at a breakfast casserole. Who are these girls?
He was from Iceland of course I didnt sleep with him, havent you seen Mighty Ducks 2???
His dick looked like E.T.'s finger. It scared me.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
We got a Christmas tree, decorated it to surprise his wife And kids who were out of town for her father's funeral, then fucked like rabbits on their new mattress before he had to pick them up at the airport.
My present? It was a fake boarding pass he made in Photoshop. He litterally just gave me a one way ticket to Pound Town
Her vagina felt like a fur coat. It was weird at first but I kinda liked it
The guy at the ER said it was the first time he's given stitches for a funneling accident. Then he seemed upset that I took pride in that...
first time i ever mailed panties back to a fuck buddy. what better of a way to say its over
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You should be glad you didn't come with last night. I watched pirate porn for the first time in my life as the 9th wheel.
WHY AM I CRAWLING IN OLDER MEN HOLY JESUS
I just coughed and my vagina hurt. We need to hook up more.
it wasn't a total waste of time; I mean how often do you get to play scotch pong?
.....fair enough
My entire news feed is ice bucket challenges. I wish there was a hide from feed button like FarmVille
Thirty seconds is a long time in jizz time...
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