Out of all the things I've put my penis in, this seems the most unfortunate.
I'm afraid to text her because most of the time she just replies with "cockblock."
I got mine. It's a truly beautiful penis. Plus he pulled his tongue muscle on my vagina.
I'm also 3/4 on the frats. Its like my goal of traveling to all 7 continents, but different somehow and a lot less morally sound.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i'm sitting in class and looking at who would die if all the fans suddenly fell from the ceiling. i guess i have next year to pass history..
I considered my 2012 starting right when the cop followed the wrong car for the bottle rocket we shot at him
EVERY guy that's EVER been in my vagina has texted me tonight for a booty call. Narrow it down to the greatest hits or just work in timeline order?
Nothing like an alcohol-fueled, 6-hour-long hunt for weed--complete with occasional breaks for sex.
I should've been more social I guess. I feel bad not meeting the people who willingly sucked alcohol out of my navel...
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I came in and I guess my parents didn't hear me. My dad just said "Don't be lazy, RIDE IT." to my mom. Never coming home again.
You asked me to pick a color between pink and purple, and I said orange; you told me, "okay, that's a truth question". Then you asked if I had ever deep-throated a cupcake...I didn't even know what to say.
I'm stoned as hell watching the new Star Trek movie. My life is 110% better than it was an hour ago.
We are gonna sacrifice to and pray to every god in this world that he doesn't find out about her sleeping with his old roommate.
Really, who hasn't had sex on your bed?
ME.
I mean, I would have, but I couldn't come up with a logical reason to bring up oral sex during an orientation.
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