ISS teacher has a tramp stamp.
Shotgun.
I vomited in the sink and my bra was in there...I don't even have words to describe this hangover confusion
all i remember is being at the diner with her at 3am and her storming into the kitchen to make sure the chef gave me regular fries instead of home fries.
you just knocked on the window of the ambulance and waved at me as we drove away
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drunk old tina is grateful for 14 yr old tina for placing glow-in-the-dark stickers on my light switch...just avoided so many injuries
I burst into tears on the boat this morning because we bumped a duck in the head. I am way too hung over for today
Everyone is slow dancing to Aerosmith. I am serenading a slice of pizza.
You're just horny.
Yea, and? I appreciate you as a person too if that helps.
you were passed out so I asked you what my name was and you opened your eyes and yelled "ricotta cheese"
no way
that's when i decided you were gonna be okay
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You are a piece of meat with a side of awesome to me.
I have bruises from doing the splits on the poles, if that doesn't scream bourbon street regret then I don't know what does
I straight up told your dad I've slept with a majority of your family
All she has to do is text me and my dick gets hard. It doesn't matter what it's about. Last text was about a homeless dude
Roommate charged out of his room in pajamas yelling "MAKE IT RAIN" and just threw $4,000 in fifties onto my head. My Friday night.
Coffee and girl scout cookies. Breakfast of champions.
Get fucked.
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