He didn't know it yet but he was about to go down on me.
I told my ex i loved him and then he sent me a picture of this girl laying on his bed.
you never know when you'll meet the man of your dreams and bang him in an elevator
The sex was so good, I called my ex during the 2nd time just so he could hear. Is that mean?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I have fifteen cents in cash and 80 cents in the bank. BUT I have weed.
Hopefully. Play it cool. Bust out a few jokes. Chew with your mouth closed and show your boobs.
Does the whole "it was New Years" excuse apply this year?
Do you recall us playing flip cup on your head?
if I just puked into my own hand, but then cleaned it up quickly, quietly, and calmly, am I still a trainwreck?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
The beer shits the day after completing the World Beer Tour at Epcot are just as epic as the tour itself.
Had dinner with a married woman but didn't have sex with her. Tweeted at Mike Pence to apologize anyway.
She came out of the bathroom listening to her iPod and crying. Then she started scream 'she will be loved'. She seems to be handling the break up well lol
I was walking out of the bar when he said I'll see you later and I said I'll see you in my dreams and then fell face first and broke my nose
no offense but you looked like shit yesterday
tequila is unforgiving..
its not much but to go through all that to ask for half a balls worth of money was so stressful
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