dont like to call her my roomate, too cordial. i refer to her as the whore that was assigned to live with me
Relationship's official after skype sex--college kid at his finest.
Just saw a field sobriety test being administered at 730 am, I now know I do not have a drinking problem
it was a whole new experience in the world of ball fondling
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The key to alley sex is drunkeness.
Nothing will ever prepare you for the moment when you are sitting on your friends bathroom floor with no pants on eating string cheese & pita at 2am.
It's like leaving me for his wife wasn't enough. He had to give me an STD too.
Beer pong consisted of me throwing a ball at the wall and then falling over because moving my arm made me dizzy. I think our team lost.
I need to think of the best way to tell this boy he's not getting his pants back
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I didnt want you guys to know I needed to puke, so I just nonchalantly did in my solo cup and threw it out the window
Stop touching yourself.
Wtf!?!?!?! Did you install a camera???
I made him fuck me with my coat zipped up and a unicorn mask on. That level of drunk sex. Weird and creepy yet highly satisfying.
Apparently fireball doesn't mix well with my no carb diet
Dude. $3 Jack n Cokes AND Cheesesticks... Find me tomorrow plz
i havent showered for 4 days and i just made my dog smell my arm pit. also, im stoned.
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