He looked like the mexican version of Steve Carrell with a unibrow.
he told me not be awkward when his girlfriend comes tomorrow. and then he made out with me
I'm at taco bell and they have a hiring sign asking "do you like to melt things?" clearly they only want the ambitious.
i came home at 4 a.m. and made a dozen eggs and three lbs. of bacon. my mom woke up and the only thing she was pissed about was that i used the whole carton of eggs, but then she sat down and ate with me
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he pretended not to hear me say our safety word. how do you think I feel?
just asked if they'd gift wrap go-go taquitos for you at 7-eleven
At least I tried to be smart when I brought the alarm clock into the bathroom just in case I fell asleep.
We just broke into a lion king sing along. Understanding is not possible.
I feel bad for his balls. Ive never seen so much sperm. He had to be dying
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I could probably be laying here naked and he'd still be more interested in this thunderstorm
You have better ratings than Crest. Only 4/5 dentists recommend it. You have 8/9 recommendation for your blowjob skills.
Vasectomy results are in. No swimmers in the water. REPEAT. No swimmers in the water. Come help me harness my new found super-power
Last night you dunked donut holes in spinach dip, ate it, threw up, and continued eating. I cant keep up with your drunk eating skills.
I was wondering where the donuts went.
Remember I am not doing blow tonight. I REPEATE NO COCAINE unless I do it with your mom
He ate me out for my sailor moon manga and I gave him a blowjob for his Devilman manga. Pretty sweet deal imo
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