he wouldn't shut up and let me sleep
yeah i got into a fight with my man last night
why can't men just shut up and put out?
So then I told him that only a restaurant managed by a florida fan could run out of ketchup
So the guy sitting next to me is watching dungeons and dragons on youtube. I didnt realize you could get more pathetic than actually playing the game.
Girl in front of me has spent the class alternating between playing farmville and the tiffany's website looking at engagement rings. Every once in a while she holds her hand up to the screen.
She doesn't deserve the breathe the same air that we do.
She just bought a cow and we've moved on to looking at wedding dresses.
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You know you are bi when you flip between the NFL Network and LOGO.
my mom just told me its unladylike to have toothpaste stains on my clothes all the time.. if she only knew.
Drunk lesbians having an argument about their realationship isn't as hot as I imagined.....
Don't byou dare ruin egg salad by putting your penis in it that would be so sad.
I saw a stripper quit while on stage to months ago nothing you tell me will amaze me
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I would never do this in real life. It's only college.
spotted: something called the tunnel of opression. i feel like if we patricipated we wouldnt even be phased or we could run it better than them
You BETTER NOT STEAL MY MOTHERFUCKING SQUIRREL
i want to pour hot gravy all over you in bed
I don't remember how I broke my nose last night, but I woke up with dried blood everywhere. Also, you should tell that guy how you feel.
I don't care. It's wine Wednesday get your gameface on.
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