I just ate 3 burrito supremes and a crunchwrap...can't feel feet...I think I have diabetes
like if they didnt have tits and vagina, they have no idea how uninteresting to us they would be
he was persistant. I supposedly owe him a bj from high school.
I had to call maintenance to come unclog the toilet.
Something to remember me by.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
What baked good do you think says thanks for being a great tutor, lets bang?
that's probably because you left your arm in the fishtank for 90% of the night
I need to do something profound in the next three and a half years so that when my kids ask what I did in my twenties I have something to say other than "made bad decisions"
She's like an enigma, wrapped in a riddle, tossed in miller light, inside a question. Nobody can explain a Heather.
Btw he dated my mom. You're Eskimo siblings with my mom. Good job.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Wanna get really high and go on a Valentine's Day Sexathon cause we're both single or would that be weird?
The other day I was really high and I felt like my words were coming out of my mouth in flowers...I don't know.
I've orgasmed four times in the past 24 hours. And my mom's dropping off cookies later
We had to push you home in an abandoned shopping trolley. You thought you were in a pirate boat and kept yelling "AVAST, ME HEARTIES".
If I ever drink whiskey again make sure I don't eat the plastic cups that I'm drinking them from.
My last memory of last night was being in a laundry room doing blow and admiring a washer and dryer... I think that's the earmark of old age
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