So, I just pissed in her shampoo bottle. Hope she enjoys a late golden shower from me.
he told me not be awkward when his girlfriend comes tomorrow. and then he made out with me
Dude also, my grandma got me condoms for easter and kind of winked. I don't know what to think
I promise you I could read that dogs mind, he was arguing with the other dog saying he knows how fucked up I am
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Just got Netflix. Dexter Marathon. Still in my PJ's. Only eaten cookie dough and drinking a 40. I have never reeked so strongly of lonely .
All I know is she had me sitting on the kitchen floor with her little Pomeranian eating potato chips And shredded cheese. I don't even know dude. I don't even know.
i preemptively threaten to cock slap your kids if they are snobby yuppy bitches
Attn every girl I've slept with in the past 26 years of my life. One of you cunts gave me herpes. This is the 4th of 5 group MMS. That's right. It's in the 50s. There are two girls I don't have #s for. One was on a cruise and the other was a prostitute in Amsterdam. So which of you has herpes?
Just got offered to exchange moonshine for manscaping services by a gay guy. I'm gonna have the smoothest back in St. Louis county.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I told him I would only take his calls if he was dead, dying, capturing a midget, or buying me shots.
I stand by my new policy.
Dude imagine how many pictures of dicks Obama gets. That can't be unusual. Almost every kids in the US has written the president a letter.
Just consider it? What else do you have going on today that could be as awesome as a day full of lord of the rings and sex?
YO. MCGRIDDLES.
Fuck my life... Im so horny Im gonna take it out on this sandwich
After he came, he took a two minute power nap and then fucked me for another 45 minutes. He is a machine!
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