Call me Kermit cause I'm about to go piggin
I am watching Grease 2 and properly learning how to apply a condom to a banana. This is a sign from God that this is the closest I will ever get to having the need for one.
..i think i can hear you losing your virginity
They called security on the security guard who tried to break up the party in their suite. You tell me how drunk they were.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
OH MY GOD MY GRANDMA JUST SHOWED ME HER BOOB OH. MY. GOD.
You tried to luge a beer down a flip flop.
i get the sense she is planing new and exciting ways to physically harm me during sex
Our friendship would be less complicated if your dad didn't think I was forcing you into having gay sex with me
alright. I just need to set some ground rules, no lighting me on fire, and no broken bones. fair?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
ALWAYS CAPS LOCK. IS THERE EVER A SITUATION THAT DOES NOT CALL FOR CAPS LOCK? NO.
Sexting? Sexting in caps lock seems rather unnerving.
I WANT YOUR BODY AND I WANT IT NOW.
I rest my case.
On the plus side, I got cel phone video of a major fox news host doing coke.
Oh my god the guy at DQ just gave me the number 69 and winked at me
Watching the awkward tinder date at the table next to mine is the most action I've had in months, so there's that.
He's really cute...He stopped talking to me because i pulled my skirt up and peed in a demi plie position...
Even if they did assume we were doing kinky shit, it's not like they're gonna be like, "HALT SATAN! INTAKE SOME JESUS AND VOMIT YOUR SINS!"
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