So I'm stoned for 420, and have an eye doctor appointment in fifteen minutes
Are your eyes okay
I mean if I was Asian they would be
Went biking. Saw homeless guy beating in the park. Thought of you <3
Just heard a guy on the phone saying " ya ill buy the eight ball " then came to my register to ask what asile the sugar substitute is on.
After I threw him out he walked down the street peeing in stride. I almost wanted to let him back in.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I thought I would take a shower to wake me up but now I'm naked wet and stoned laying on my bed instead of just stoned laying on my bed
Just read my long term horoscope. I'm not gonna get laid for another 2 years.
he tried to convince me he was a seal.. sound effects included. and then asked me to 'be his lady seal'.
I'm pretty sure we organized our beer pong teams according to who's been circumsized...
Some poor guy found you passed out in a bathroom stall. Again with your dick out. Looks like you got to rage after all.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I can't even express how horny I am. The English language isn't equipped for what I'm plotting.
The fact that it neither of us came up with the reason of "it's morally and ethically wrong" speaks volumes about this relationship
You asked for his ID and then said "I am like a bouncer but for my vagina."
This ice cream is 10x better than the sex I had yesterday
Took an adderall for the first time in a few weeks. Spent 45 minutes peeling an orange TO PERFECTION.
I remember is someone saying "I smell weed" and then having a room full of sober high school kids look at me.
Randomize