weddingsv make me drug and hornr
why did they invent bidet's? your butt gets clean when your poop falls in the toilet and splashes up anyway...
I didn't have a rubber, but my dick had a date with a clorox wipe after we finished. I think I'm in the clear.
I'll just wear something slutty to the liquor store and hope for the best
that's your solution for everything
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
So basically our separate showers turned into one shower, to save water, which turned into a bath, which turned into sex on the bed, which turned into drinking beer in the bed, and thats what the stain is from... bud light. sorry.
He's trying to get everyone in the bathtub for a team meeting about how we're gonna find his car. Which is parked outside. Think we should cut him off?
There was blood everywhere. She was pretty good looking person though.
i will trade you pizza and a blowjob for a fifth of vodka.
do i get to eat the pizza while you give me the blowjob?
It was smashing those cupcakes into my face that did it. Junk food and I don't mix.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
One my way home. There was too much fog, strobe lights, and cocaine for my taste.
Hahahahahahhajahahahahajajjajahjahahajahahajajahahahajjajajahahjajajajajahahahajjjajajaahhahhahahahahahahahaha dominos taxi
bartering with my concussed boyfriend to eat food with blowjobs
Just got tinder matched with my COMM TA. Game on.
I had to ask him for a dick pic. Do you know how refreshing that was?
That confirms what we've all known all along. I'm a bad gay. I have no fashion sense.
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