Just looked at my call log. I called Planned Parenthood at 3am.
What do ugly girls do when they get too drunk at parties. They can't pull the whole "sorry i passed out on your couch but i'm hot so it doesn't matter "card
you said you get the best orgasms off Pez dispensers. how do you think he felt????
just so you know... i was wasted last night, but the evening is coming back to me in flashes... i made you eat gravy last night, didn't i?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
She was sitting there stuffing her face rubbing my back with a dorito cheese filled hand while eating something else with the other hand as I was crying.
Just pissed in my own closet. Had no idea adult dinner parties could he so awesome.
Im making gravy in a lace bra and jeans. Just call me the southwern wet dream
he was very distressed by my statements that there could have been balls on shoulders without awareness
Well I'm sleeping with two of them cause they have nice cars. And the third cause she has a big rack. I'm just really waiting for it all to blow up in my face so I can find a girl I'm actually interested in
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Dude, if I don't end up wearing a banana suit in Milwaukee, I will consider that trip a complete failure.
to have them in my mouth would be like meeting a unicorn while floating on a cloud of glitter
All the movies on cable here are either porn or Bollywood. I am never leaving this hotel.
Why don’t they have healthy alcohol yet?
This may sound strange but do you have my pants?
You tried to trade them for some girls skirt... So she has them...
Why is everyone giving me a hard time for drinking?!
Your in the library.
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