so then you didnt wanna fuck tonight right?
oops, you werent supposed to get that until you left.
I just watched a guy get turned down by a prostitute
I think im in love with that girl with the googlie eyes last night. She was looking in my eyes and at my dick at the same time. we are going out again tonight.
my new years resolutions dont apply when im drunk
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Watching intervention at a bar. Who let this happen??
Chick took off her bra in the middle of class cuz it was "too hot." How's going out of state feel now?
Last night: Repeatedly yelled about how the fishbowl tasted like blue, stole a stranger's hat, hugged the DJ for playing my request, made out with my roommate, and abandoned the guy I dragged to the club in the first place
This morning: Hat doesn't fit, hangover headache is blue, and I can't move without getting lightheaded
Listen when they tell you not to drink after giving blood
Nah nah nah the rules are different on st patty day, drink beer or die. It's like the hunger games but blurrier
I kept calling him escargot instead of Estaban..I don't think that was the wisest choice.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
We got kicked out of Walmart for playing cod with squirt guns of course it was better then prom.
Is it possible to be drunk burnt? Like sun burnt but from drinking? Cus I think I that's what it feels like
The resort was totally empty, just June and I. Which of course lead to EXCESSIVE day drinking and outdoor fucking. FYI Dominicans LOVE to watch.
I want a battle ostrich, get me a battle ostrich and then come and make love to me
Buying drug test kits off amazon. And qualifying for amazonSmile donation to a kids hospital feels wrong and funny at the same time xD
Its a shame I cant put 'bomb ass head game' on my resume.
Randomize