I feel great
I just peed on a car
I just heard a girl in all seriousness say, "I told him I'm not a stalker. I just really really want to talk to him."
while fucking on the counter the whip cream was conveniently right next to us. i love thanksgiving
You would not believe how incredibly hard it is to climb on top of a three story apartment buildings roof from the air conditioning unit
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Finally considering to keep my landing strip before I have sex.. I feel like It makes me look mature.
He compliments me like a gay guy and fucks me like a starved nympho. I'm in love.
Went home drunk last night and peed on my Christmas tree, my mothers going to fucking kill me
Topenga is going to be back on TV. Finally my fantasy of her being a milf in junior high has come full circle.
The bag I'm bringing home for the weekend: a change of clothes, workout shoes, and sex toys, that's it.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You don't know reunion panic until you've exfoliated your butt cheeks.
It's 3 am and I'm buying cat food and batteries for my vibrator. Good thing I shaved my legs for this.
I repeat do not go to a jail visit drunk, those stools are easy to fall off.
I’M PUT OFF FROM FOOD RN BC EARLIER I GOT SOME WATER AND I WAS 4 SIPS IN WHEN I NOticed A FUCKING BURGER KING F R Y IN MY D R I N K
just passed a kid drinking a beer at 2pm. clearly it's the last day of break.
i think i left you like a 5 minute message about the mcchicken burger i was eating. I think I called wanting sex but the mcchicken burger was a lot more seducing.
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