She said as long as i don't wake her up she doesn't care what hole i use.
Got yourself a keeper right there.
Passing las posas road. In a world of pain. Im trying to piss in a bottle through the hole in my crotch. I wish i had a bigger dick.
Stop being a whore!!! Everyone can see!!!!
batman tramp stamp. Dibs.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I'm lit.While shaving my legs I pretended the razor was a tractor cutting down corn. Noises included.
Whatever. We're stealing a penguin. Your not allowed near him... You did this to yourself.
Is snow just God skeeting all over the place??
Yes. Yes it is.
I think im gonna have to stop sexting on the metra. The middle aged businessman behind me just leaned over and whispered 'dirty girl' and highfived his seatmate.
I just took a shit with a lightsaber in my hand. Dreams fulfilled.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
How do people deal with hangovers? I literally want to eat my own face.
I don't know what he did to me, but he did it wrong. I think my pelvis is broken. I cant even drive without it hurting. What. The. Fuck.
I sincerely thought making it to McDonalds by 10:00am was a shoe-in but it appears that I need to adjust my zoom when looking at the map before walking to places.
So hungover. I'm getting too old for trolloping around in disco shorts going shot for shot with well behaved underclassmen in an effort to lure them to the dark side of alcoholism and liver failure.
Fucked him in his sketchy van in the Applebee's parking lot. In other news, my dry spell is over.
You know how it is. Tell me not to do somebody and suddenly I wanna.
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