thanks...oh and i got my period
told you
oh hush
over or under 1pm before my bracket is too blurry to read?
why do you have a stuffed bear wearing a thong and a seatbelt in your backseat??
I would have to gauge my vagina to make it fit.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
She sprinted out of the bathroom and ran all the way into the middle of the street. Five minutes later she came back with a banana nut muffin. She's that kind of drunk.
Im drunk with people I love less than you. fix it.
Ps. I feel like I may pee myself this weekend. Either drunkenly or out of excitement. Toss up
It's a delicate game of how much porn can I look at without the other interns noticing.
I went home with a guy last night because he showed me some magic tricks and kept shouting "THEY'RE ILLUSIONS MICHAEL!"
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
spending my first valentines day single in 3 years blazed and eating heart shaped brownies i bought myself. WHO NEEDS A MAN.
Is 1:30 too early for the bar?
Do you want my opinion or society's?
I want your company
It's like the bat signal. He only texts me when I'm naked.
I gave him a handjob in the uber car. Life is really spiraling downwards.
I'm in Home Depot and I can feel the straight bob the builders staring at me. I bet it's like I have a rainbow arrow pointing at me.
I said I wanted pizza tattoo on my ass and the tattooist asked me what I wanted on it.
Randomize