I want your puppy
I meant pussy
I would rather you take my puppy
apparently farting at a cop is considered assault.
What did you want me to do? You know I don't like fat people. I'm an asshole to them sober it only gets worse when I'm drunk
That doesn't make it okay! You tried kicking the girl's mom out where we were having the party at!
The theme is smores and alcohol. Dress appropriately.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
She refered to her bed as the "cockpit"....I understand that this morning.
Had a drag queen carry me to the car. So I'm told...
Me too it's so nice. Debated studying out there but woulda been 90% babe-watching 5% flexing 3% studying and 2% talkin my boners down.
It's my vagina- remember its magical and yes I just did mini spirit fingers
At this point I think you're just judging my taste in men
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Super awkward when the coworker you made out with in exchange for molly last weekend keeps coming over to your cube and trying to talk to you
We're about to play the try not to vom at the president's house game...
What if there is no right person? Maybe it's just the right cat. Or the right 12 cats.
Our sibling relationship has really blossomed into a wonderful mutual acceptance of sluttyness
I don't want anything calamari shaped after last night. But I appreciate the Cheerios offer.
I just came rly close to telling a dude that I want to chew on him and there should be an oil painting of his ass up in the louvre before I realized that isn't how flirting is supposed to go
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