Youre a pretentious asshole and im not sure who you think you are. Get the hell over yourself and the self righteous culture snob image because its pretty obnoxious.
tonights recap: old cokehead freind proposed in the middle of a country bar to his trash girlfriend, saw ex-fuck who now has star shaved into his head and another with his gf, and ex-bfs best friends crackin jokes about who would fuck me first. NEVER COMING HOME AGAIN
it turns out jennifers body is not good to beat off to. yeah its megan fox but when she pukes up blood = goodbye boner
Just had a nice conversation with my landlord while cleaning your puke off my car
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I will fight anything that is not spinning right now
I don't know ur idea of a good first date but I'm pretty sure it shouldn't include him holding my hair while I puke in the street
His kisses tasted like beef jerky and captain morgan. I'm pretty sure I came before he even took my clothes off.
Did the game of beer pong go wrong before or after the cops and fire department showed up?
I just fucked her in her boyfriends bathroom... he was in the room sleeping.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I may or may not already be in your hot tub when you get home. I have a key to your house and no shame.
I woke up to find a bottle of Bacardi in my shower rack. How was your night?
I burned myself with a joint twice in one sitting I have to say that's a new record for the least number of times I have hurt myself while smoking.
He's like a father figure to me, except we have casual drunk sex every now and then
I think I've been there, but who knows? I drink a lot
Went to waffle house after dropping my sister off at school and got into a heated argument with a drunk/hungover philosophy professor I will not name. I won the argument.
Randomize