Me too ba-by. I wanna bite your ear lobes they are so fat.
Seriously, I would hit on barney the dinosaur right now if it meant I was going to get laid.
i had a headache and asked the kid next to me for aspirin. he gave me esctacy instead. gotta love college.
The answer to your question is yes. I am wearing a star of david to the bar in order attract a jewish man.
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Man, the last time I saw you you were giving me a thumbs up while being pulled out the bar by your belt from some girl.
I hope so. I just start to question my lifestyle when i pee on coffee tables
My TA just came over to give us drugs. Now he's drinking grey goose with my roommate and explaining his thesis to her. This is too much.
he payed over $300 just to break into the hotel pool and skinny dip alone for 5 minutes and then peace in a cab. and all he had to say for himself was "gotta go swimming, gotta live life"
where do u find these people!?
I got to the party and found your shoes in a bag of Funyuns. You weren't even there.
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Someone sharpied "COCK HUNGRY" on my butt cheeks last night. When the fuck did I have my ass out?
I had her buy me a cock ring, so we might test that out. We are presently playing yahtzee.
Cock rings and yahtzee. Like peanut butter and jelly.
I shaved my balls for you. Do you have any idea how hard that is?
This conversation went from me banging other women's husbands to learning about baked goods. If that isn't personal growth I don't know what is.
The blunt fell in the hottub, i mean i knew she was upset but i didnt expect her to dive for it and come up balling her eyes out...
You now have a new job. Call me around 1pm everyday and make sure I've eaten something. All I've had today is dick and cheesecake.
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