Bigbird is at the bar Im at. whats her name
I like to think it a success when the cops are called
...she's taking her top off and singing songs from Anastasia. I swear to God were solumates.
hes totally cute, too bad i slept with his father
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
white shorts are a girls way of saying "im ready to fuck cuz its not my time of month"
I knew he cared when I got his text "happy birthday to the girl who gives phenomenal head"
it was really awkward meeting your mom for the first time while i was still wearing the condom we were using.
He made me meet him in the baby department of walmart where he was waiting with his pregnant girlfriend. Time for a new dealer
That feeling when you're ready to convert to the religion of whatever god will stop the vomit. Dynamite is illegal.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He is nice. Kind of short though. But didn't try to rub his jean cock on me.
Which I appreciated.
this is definitely the first time I've ever had an orgasm and then had potatoes smeared on me within the same hour
There's times when I just want to bottle my farts for later they're so insane.
So yes we had an orgy last night and I sucked your tits while you fucked my husband but I am weird about sharing my toothbrush.
JEREMY RENNER GOT DIVORCED. I STILL HAVE A CHANCE.
I ask him how he's going, like life and stuff, and he responds "20-0 pats"
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