Well whatever you do have, it sure worked on me.
A Penis?
New favorite sorority...they made me pancakes in the morning and welcomed back the walk of shame girls with a round of applause
It's like a mixture of two words
"town" and "Im too drunk to spell right now"
I woke up and he had cut my bangs and put makeup on me.
I don't care how good they make you look, you've got to stop sleeping with gay guys.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
the bride spent most of the night apologizing to people she had punched earlier.
I just scrubbed chocolate off the bathtub... You better have had a damn good birthday
Don't count me out just yet. Considering bartering a blowjob to see if that boy from work will take my shift.
a pizza costume came into my possession last night. needless to say i showed up to his house wearing only the pizza, shouting "delivery" into his window.
ARE YOU THINKING VAGINA THEMED RESTAURANT
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
No offense, I mean I'm sure you rocked my world and all but I don't remember.
I don't care how hot she is, her cat has pissed on me twice.
Pretty sure my boner drove me home. Like it didn't just do the steering it was the gas and brake too..
I'm proud of all of us. Somehow we all survived another Jägerbomb Tuesday
I've never known a porn star before
There's not even an emoji for this
The air I exhale reeks of whiskey and bad decisions
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