Memory from last night that just came back: me forcibly jacking him off while he yelled I DONT LIKE HANDJOBS I DONT LIKE HANDJOBS
He chugged from a bottle of wine and then we had pretend sex
How do you have pretend sex?
It was bad...so it was pretend
You know when its a good night when you have to be reminded IHOP is a family establishment.
You got my ass fired just for knowing you
thanks for the bacon
It's really awkward/depressing when you are wearing heels larger than his dick
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Iranian Rapper, camaroonian basketball player, mexican i forget and indian doctor....this one looks the best on paper.
My Pizza Lunchables won't fit in the fridge because of all your alcohol. One of our addictions has to give.
He woke me up for a 10am bootycall. he was already drunk when he got here and when we were fucking, bagpipes started playing amazing grace outside of my window!! I love Boston on st. Patties day!!
Dude it's bad when your 10 year old son makes fun of your penis size.
You need to be more adventurous.
I am! Just not in a "I wanna get diseases" way
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I used to put Bugles on my penis and pretend it was a wizard.
I am just saying if Clark Kent walks into your life, you fuck him
I woke up in a bunk bed beside two Brazilians dude you have no idea how happy I was
I made out with that lesbian chick for a blunt. NO REGRETS.
Only in the emergency room do they shut the door when youre laughing too hard
Can you imagine doing supermarket sweep in a sex store? What's the sex store equivalent of a whole ham?
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