They were lying down in the parking garage pretending to be speed bumps...
And by hung out you mean you were in my bed for 5 minutes while your penis was in my mouth.
If you didn't damage your room so much from fucking so hard we would have got more of our security deposit back
I resent that
Those were the days I had no morals... Dark times.
Shall we take a trip back?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Do I need to take a photo of my sister's enlarged and disgustingly dark nipples to scare you into protection? DO I?
He equated my biology degree to a belief in Santa. I wonder if he heard the doors to my vagina clanging shut.
also i think i should join the bone marrow registration when im sober
Like I actually don't feel all that great but the fact that I'm not projectile vomiting at work makes life seem so magical
Her weave came out on the dance floor. She was twerking and shaking one minute and her hair flew across the dance floor the next. Great way to be introduced to the family
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
OMG I COULD FUCK HIM FOR POT, THIS CHANGES THE WHOLE GAME.
Hey you're my best friend, I'm sorry I picked my vagina over my heart last night.
Working nightshift means its never too early to start drinking- and you can quote me on that
Went home last night with that hot British guy. Sounded like I was f-ing in a Harry Potter movie.
This may sound strange but do you have my pants?
You tried to trade them for some girls skirt... So she has them...
Can u pick up some lemons on the way? I have Tequila and a sore throat..I need them for both
Randomize